I want to go see 'him'.

heard a couple of non-muslims reverted these recent days. Just listening to their stories makes my eyes water like ever. You know the feeling of listening to a story of a lost kid who find her way home?You feel moved,touched,at the same time happy and delightful.yeah.it's basically that feeling. They.indeed,have found their way home. And the one guiding them home is the God Himself. and waiting for them behind those door of the home,is a path to Jannah. MasyaAllah. They should really know how lucky they are. When they convert to Islam,Prophet Muhammad said they are like newborn babies. Free from any sin whatsoever. And therefore they are holier and ‘cleaner’ than any of us the ‘muslim-at-birth’.

A few days back,i heard of a friend who confessed to have dreamt of Prophet Muhammad in her sleep. MasyaAllah. When I heard that story,i ran away. and alone,i sat on a secluded place where noone could find me and wept. "Why it's not me?Why can't i see him even in my dream?"

i can't see him in real life,and i dun know if i could see him 'there'(but i'm hoping i would) so i desperately want to see him now. even only in my dream. even for a short while. i miss him so bad. so i sat there crying for a long time,so overwhelmed with envy and sad thinking."When is my turn to see that beautiful and wonderful face of my prophet?"

So i've been reflecting upon myself. Have i been a good muslim?do i deserve jannah?do i deserve to see Prophet Muhammad? i wanna see Allah. and i wanna see 'him'(Prophet Muhammad). 

I miss Prophet Muhammad. So bad. But i'm not that alim. Not that wara’.

my murabbi persuade me by saying this hadith, " Al mar'u ma'a man ahabba" A man will be with whom he love .(in paradise) he told me,maybe our deeds aren’t enough to qualify us for a space in jannah,but who knows our love towards our prophet will get us through. Allahuakbar.

so i'm only hangin on to that promise.because if i think of my deeds,i'll definitely feel devastated and hopeless. I’m still improving on it though,with some zikr my ustaz told me to practice evry night and day.

And i also belive in Allah's mercy.

He's The Merciful

Like a poem by Imam Bushiri called burdah.[i 've always loved this part particularly]

يَا نَفْسُ لا تَقْنَطِي مِنْ زَلَّةٍ عَظُمَـتْ
إِنَّ الْكَبَائِرَ فِي الْغُفْرَانِ كَاللَّمَـِم

Oh Self! don't you give up because of a sin even if they are big, because all the sins are small compared to Allah forgiveness.

RINDU

  Yang atas ini:Habib Mahdi. Sepanjang dia bercakap sehingga tamat kalam,air mata tak berhenti sampai rasa pening-pening.

saya tak pernah rasa macam ni. Saya sayang mereka. Saya tahu saya bukan orang yang hebat agamanya,orang yang wara' jauh sekali. Tapi..rasa ini bukan boleh dibuat-buat.

Saya tak tahu sejak bila. saya asyik teringat-teringat mereka yang pernah hadir ke maktab. Saya google wajah mereka. Saya buat desktop background. Saya edit gambar mereka untuk tampal di dinding. saya tengok wajah mereka. Saya NAK jumpa mereka. 

"Ustaz,saya minta tolong. Tolong bawa mereka ke sini lagi."

 Bila mereka sebut tentang Nabi saya menangis. sedangkan apa yang mereka cakap sama saja dengan yang saya dengar di Tv atau di radio atau di ceramah-ceramah.

saya rasa saya rindu mereka. saya nak jumpa lebih ramai lagi. sebab mereka mengingatkan saya pada Nabi.

saya sayang ulama.

Selalu dekat pejabat-pejabat berhawa dingin ada orang gantung frame gambar Perdana Menteri.

Kalau di bilik remaja-remaja dengan budak-budak baru nak naik ,dinding sahih penuh dengan poster artis. Hero remaja,Juara Mentor,Maharaja lawak dan segala macam.

Selalu di wallet2 mesti ada gambar markha.itu bahasa orang utara orang KL panggil awek. kalau kasanova depa sebut aweks sebab plural.

Tapi jarang orang simpan gambar ulama' tanda cinta.

Bila ada yang cinta orang-orang yang tak mengerti mula kata taksub pula padahal kita-kita cinta ulama itu kerana ilmu dan agamanya.

Hadis Nabi mengatakan antara tanda-tanda akhir zaman ialah Allah akan mengangkat ke langit ilmu dengan mematikan ulama'-ulama'.

"Sesungguhnya ulama itu adalah pewaris para nabi. Para nabi tidak mewariskan dinar dan dirham. Mereka hanya mewariskan ilmu. Maka barangsiapa yang mengambil (warisan ilmu) tersebut ia telah mengambil habuan yang paling sempurna."

(Riwayat Tarmizi,Ahmad,Abu Daud dan Ibnu Majah)

-Ke Arah membina generasi Kenal Ulama,Kenal Sunnah dan Cinta Nabi-

*sayang xsemestinya gantung gambar.analogi di atas cuma simbolik.